Last Day on the Balcony

Words from a handwritten journal on my last day on the balcony:

I am sitting on the balcony again on my last morning here at the beach. From my 8th floor "perch", I can see families, couples, "snowbirds" who live at the beach several months of the year, people walking their dogs, shell and sharks' teeth seekers, and an occasional person walking alone by the sea.

In about an hour, this relaxing and renewing time will be a wonderful memory as I return to the responsibilities that wait for me at home. But, I am grateful for this gift of time with Rob, and for the quiet moments that I have had to be still and feel Your presence. Help me to slow down in my everyday world so that I will hear Your voice as You lead me in the days ahead.

Psalm 16:7a - I will praise the Lord Who counsels me.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths (make your paths straight).

Proverbs 2:3-5 - And if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as for silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

Lord, I am trusting You, leaning on You, and acknowledging You as the one Who created everything and Who is in control of everything. Thank You for directing my path. I am calling out for insight and crying aloud for understanding.

Show me the way.

From the Balcony...

On this 29th day of December, I am thinking about some verses in the 29th chapter of Jeremiah:

Jeremiah 29:11 - For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Lord, I am so glad that You know the plans that You have for me. You didn't say that You think You know, or that You may know. Even though I don't know Your plan for this next chapter of my life, it is a comfort that You know.

Jeremiah 29:12 - Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.

Lord, I am calling on You, and coming to You, and praying to You. In this world, there is a lot more talking than listening. Thank You for listening and hearing my heart, even when I can't find the words.

Jeremiah 29:13 - You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

On this morning, I am sitting at a table on an 8th floor balcony which overlooks the ocean. As I listen to the crashing waves, I am overwhelmed by the majesty and magnitude of Your creation. And, from this balcony, I am seeking You with all my heart.

Jeremiah 29:14 - I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and will bring you back from captivity.

Lord, am I in captivity? Have I created a prison for myself? Perhaps a prison of comfort and mediocrity? Have I limited Your plans for me by remaining in my self-constructed cell? If I have become comfortable in a prison cell, then I am ready to break free!

Psalm 142:7 - Set me free from my prison, that I may praise Your name.

Psalm 143:8 - Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I lift up my soul.

From this balcony, I have just watched six people riding on horseback by the ocean. What a beautiful sight! Five horses and riders stayed on the safe, dry sand. But, the horse that caught my attention was the one that danced in the ocean waves with abandon, free of fear.

Lord, help me to dance with abandon in the beauty of Your creation, free of fear. Just as the ocean is singing a majestic song to me on this morning, let my life be a song of praise to You.

Vision

On this peaceful December morning, I feel nudged to share the thoughts that I have journaled. Perhaps sharing will help me as I walk through this new chapter of my life. And, just maybe someone else will be able to relate. Psalm 139 is my favorite chapter in the Bible. On this morning, it is on my heart.

Psalm 139: 5 - You hem me in - behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me.

Lord, thank You for hemming me in with Your protection.

Psalm 139:9-10 - If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.

Lord, as I am writing, I am looking across the ocean to the horizon. As You well know, I lived on the far side of the sea in Germany for seven months of my life. Just as You guided me in Germany twenty years ago, I know that You are guiding me now. Even though my human eyes can only see a finite distance, You are all-seeing. Your vision is infinite. You are near-sighted and far-sighted. My aging, far-sighted eyes cannot compare to Your eyes that see everything, even before it is there.

Psalm 139:16 - All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.

Lord, You knew that I would be at the beach with my 19 year-old son on this beautiful, sunny day in December. As he is sleeping on this quiet morning, I am searching for what You have in store for me during this new chapter of my life. And, it is no surprise to You that I am searching. I want to serve You.

So, please show me what You have in mind for me. You already know that I have given up something that I have loved doing for 17 years. My hands, mind, and heart are open to serve You. I get very comfortable with the familiar. But, I know that You will reveal Your will in Your perfect timing if I will be quiet and listen. And, You already know that being quiet and still do not come naturally to me!

Psalm 139:23-24 - Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Take my life, lead me Lord;

Take my life, lead me Lord;

Make my life useful for Thee.

He leadeth me, He leadeth me;

By His own hand, He leadeth me.

His faithful follower I would be;

For by His hand, He leadeth me.

Lead me, Lord. And, give me eyes to see what You have for me during this time in my life.