Story of My Life

I want to share the words to a song that I sang at church this morning. These words reach into the depths of my soul.

Story of My Life

If I had the words to tell you

exactly how I feel

Then I could fill a million pages

with all You've done for me

If I traced each memory

and the source of all my dreams,

Cover to cover You'd see

You are the story of my life

I need You by my side

Both now and ever

You are the Lover of my soul

No matter where I go

I know it's true

The Story of my life is You

If I turned the pages of

The things You've brought me through

There'd be a thread of faithfulness

In everything You do

I'd see where You washed me

Just as white as the snow

And how each day You're helping me grow

You are the Story of my life

I need You by my side

Both now and ever

You are the Lover of my soul

No matter where I go

I know it's true

The Story of my life is You

You are my Testimony

The Reason that I sing

I long to bring You glory

So may You always be

Found on every page of me

You are the Story of my life

I need You by my side

Both now and ever

You are the Lover of my soul

No matter where I go

I know it's true

The Story of my life is You

Lord, help me to remember your faithfulness and that You are the Story of my life.

Transparency

The following poem comes from the deepest recesses of my heart on this fourth day of radiation. There is always a risk involved when we are transparent. But, I am choosing to take that risk.

WHAT EVER HAPPENED?

What ever happened after giving our heart?

After saying "I do" 'til death do us part?

What ever happened to seeing it through?

To really meaning "I'll be with you", and "Forever I'll be true."?

What ever happened to growing old with you?

To make the promise last, what did I need to do?

I keep thinking the door will open, and there you will be,

Ready to keep the promise of spending your life with me.

As I travel through these days of pondering

how and when things started going wrong,

It becomes clear that, whatever the answer,

I must be brave and move on.

I am confident that God is with me,

And He'll show me what to do;

Whatever happens in the days ahead,

I know He will carry me through.

But, for now, there is still great sadness,

As I grieve for what has been lost;

A marriage, a home, a relationship,

And, I wonder....at what cost?

Radiation Eve

I am writing this note on the eve of my first radiation treatment. For many years, every woman diagnosed with breast cancer had no alternative but to have a mastectomy. However, for more than two decades, lumpectomy and radiation (together called breast conservation therapy) have increasingly been used to treat patients with early stage breast cancer (Stage O, I, and II). I am thankful that my tumor was caught very early and was classified as Stage I.

Two steps are involved in the breast conservation therapy. First, a lumpectomy is performed to remove the cancerous tumor. That step was done on April 20, and I have recovered well. Second, I will have the partial breast radiation which will target the area of the breast that has the highest risk for recurrence of the cancer.

The partial radiation approach minimizes radiation exposure to healthy tissue.

Last Wednesday I had outpatient surgery in the surgeon's office. At that time, the surgeon made a small incision in the same site where the tumor was removed. He then implanted a catheter which had a polyurethane balloon on the end. After the catheter was placed in the cavity where the small tumor had been removed, the balloon was inflated with fluid.

During the next five days, I will go twice a day for the radiation treatments which will last about 20 minutes each time. During each treatment, a radioactive seed will be inserted in the catheter, and moved to the balloon to treat the target tissue. After each treatment, the seed will be removed.

Much of the information that I have shared tonight has been gleaned from materials that I have read over the last few weeks, as this is very new to me. I will be forever grateful to those who have lifted me up (and continue to do so) with your love, support, and prayers since the beginning of April when the cancer was diagnosed.