Wind and Wishes

As a young girl in elementary school, I always looked forward to the time just prior to Feb 14. During those days, we made and decorated folders which would serve as mailboxes for the cards that would be personally delivered by our classmates. At the end of the day on Feb 14, we were allowed to take our folders home where we would happily read our valentines over and over.

On a particularly windy Valentine's Day, I was walking home from school, feeling very elated about all of the cards that I had received. Suddenly, a gust of wind "grabbed" my valentine folder, sending all of the treasured valentines into a flying frenzy. I watched in disbelief as the cards blew away. My walk turned into a run, and I cried over my loss all the way home.

After I had wept and told the story to my mom, the doorbell rang. It was a welcomed sight to see two of my little classmates beaming and holding my valentine cards. From their homes, they had watched what happened, and had run all over the neighborhood in an attempt to gather as many cards as they could find.

At this point in my life, I cannot remember the names of the friends who delivered those cards to their weeping classmate. But, I can say, without a doubt, that it felt like love to me.

Fast forward with me to May of 2007. Rob was staying at my parents' home for the evening while Bob and I were enjoying a date night at a local steakhouse. As we were eating, I said, "I wish we could take a walk on the beach after dinner." Over the last few days, I had longed to hear the sounds of the ocean, but had not mentioned that to anyone. When I made that comment, I was just thinking out loud that it would be nice to walk on the beach if there was a beach nearby. Bob looked across the table at me and said, "Let's do it." I thought he was kidding around. But, I quickly learned that Bob was dead serious.

The practical side of me came out as I thought about it being a 4 1/2 hour drive, and that I would need to be back to play for the service at church the next morning. When I asked again if Bob was kidding, he said that this was a one-night, spontaneous offer. If it would make me happy to walk on the beach, then he would make that walk happen. Tears welled up in my eyes when he said that, as I felt valued and knew that Bob wanted to do something special for me.

After arranging for Rob to spend the night with my parents, we left for the beach at 9:15pm. And, after a 4 1/2 hour drive, we arrived at Wrightsville Beach at 1:45am. What a special time we had as we rolled up our pants legs, held hands, got our feet wet in the ocean, and picked up some shells. The sounds of the ocean were like a soothing balm to my soul. 45 minutes later, we got in the car and headed toward home. I slept a little on the way back as Bob drove through the night. We arrived at home at 7:00am. After a quick nap, I got ready to play for the Memorial Day service at our church.

That spontaneous trip to walk on the beach and to hear the sounds of the ocean is a memory that will forever be dear to my heart. Most of all, it meant the world that Bob cared enough to hear the longing in my voice and to grant a desire of my heart.

Three years later, Bob moved away to start a new life. It feels like our hopes and dreams for the future have blown away in a gust of wind as the valentines did many years ago. But, on that night in 2007, it felt like love to me.

Coming to Me

During this month of February, I am thinking of people who have demonstrated love to me in various ways throughout the years. The first person I would like to share about is my mother.

It would be impossible to count the number of times that my mom has shown visible love to me over the last 55 years. So, I will try to narrow it down to an event that occurred about 30 years ago, and another that happened on this very day.

In March of 1981, I was honored to be in the wedding of a dear friend of mine in Florida. At that time, I was stationed in Texas, and my parents were still in our home state of North Carolina. A bridesmaids' luncheon was scheduled as part of the wedding festivities, and it was to be a mother/daughter event. I felt a sense of sadness that I would be the only one without a mom at the luncheon.

On the morning of the event, there came a knock at the bride's door. To my astonishment, there stood my mom and dad, and I heard my mom say, "Is there someone who needs a mother to go with her to a mother/daughter luncheon today?" Of course, my dad gets some credit here too, as he had driven through the night to get my mom there in time for the luncheon. As I stood there in amazement, I knew that I had never seen anything as beautiful or received such a wonderful gift as their presence on that morning. And, there was no one attending the luncheon on that day who was more proud to have her mother there with her.

Now let's fast forward thirty years to this day. I called my mom early this morning to ask her to pray for me as I was struggling with some lower back pain. She knew that, if I was neither playing the piano for the monthly Air National Guard chapel service nor the worship services at my church, then I was in a great deal of pain. On a normal Sunday, I stop by my parents' home after the evening service to visit and have leftovers from their delicious Sunday lunch. As we talked by phone, I told my mom that I didn't think I would be able to drive over there this evening due to the back pain.

After a short time, my mom called me back to say that she would be bringing me a plate of food later in the afternoon. Again, it was a beautiful sight to see her at my front door. And, she didn't just come by to drop off the food and leave. Mama sat with me and visited while I enjoyed her company and her wonderful home-cooked meal. We laughed about the squirrels that were also having lunch outside (and who were not sharing very well, to say the least!). It was a special time with Mama on a day when I truly needed her presence.

The similarity that stands out in my mind is that, on these two occasions, my mother came to me when I could not get to her. And, she represented Jesus Who also came to us when we could not get to Him.

I am reminded of a question that is asked of the King in the book of Matthew.

"Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink?" The King's answer was that, when these acts of kindness were done for the least of these, they were done for Him.

Mama, thank you for coming to me when I could not get to you, for representing Jesus, and for serving Him as you continue to serve others.

Proverbs 31:28a - "Her children arise and call her blessed..."

Lord, thank you for the priceless gift of a Christian mother.

Whispers and Shouts

On this night, I am pondering a short excerpt that I just read from "A Heart Exposed" by Steven James. It is a question that the author asks of Jesus: "Why do I think my life should be filled with cream and cookies when Yours was filled with blood and tears?" That question is penetrating the very depths of my soul.

Some who read this will know that 2010 was a roller coaster year for me, physically and emotionally. As I continue to travel through this time of healing, it seems that the world is shouting in one ear while God is whispering in the other. The world shouts, "You have every right to be angry! You were abandoned at a vulnerable time in your life!" God whispers, "Trust in Me. I will never leave you or forsake you." The world shouts, "What was he thinking!?!? There was no excuse to desert you after 28 years of marriage!!" God whispers, "I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." The Holy Spirit keeps assuring me that there is something in my future that I cannot see. And, I believe with all my heart that the events of 2010 had to happen in order to prepare me for whatever God has planned for me a little further down the road. If God had been finished with me, I am convinced that He would not have cured me of the breast cancer. It feels good to be a nine month cancer survivor!

In 1 Kings 19, Elijah was instructed to go out and stand on the mountain because God was about to pass by. A mighty wind, an earthquake, and a raging fire came. But, God was not to be found in any of those shattering events. However, after the fire, God chose to reveal Himself in a gentle whisper. If Elijah had not been listening, he would have missed the very presence of God.

Do I live in a "cream and cookies" world? Absolutely not! But, my desire is that I will listen to the gentle whispers, and that I will tune out the shouts of the world. After all, I would not want to miss God's presence.

While the loud, shouting world encourages me to live in the turbulent sea of bitterness, Jesus gazes into the crashing waves of my soul and says, "Peace, be still."

"The wind and the waves shall obey My will. Peace, be still. Whether the wrath of the storm-tossed sea, or demons, or men, or whatever it be; No water can swallow the ship where lies the Master of ocean and earth and skies. They all shall sweetly obey My will; Peace, be still." (chorus of "Peace, Be Still" by Baker and Palmer)

Lord, help me to be listening for Your gentle whisper.