Obstacles and Chains

I have been reading again in "A Heart Exposed ..Talking to God with Nothing to Hide". Here are some excerpts that spoke to me on this night:

"We are sky children

lost in the valley,

looking for the trail

back up the hill."

"Somehow I've managed to convince myself that all of these chains I drape over my soul are really necklaces to happiness."

"It's hard to have perspective when the prison feels so much like home."

Psalm 142:7 - Set me free from my prison, that I may praise Your name."

What is my prison? Anger? Disappointment? Resentment? An unforgiving heart? Bingo!

As I was driving today, I heard a short segment of a sermon on the Christian radio station. From what I could gather, the pastor was talking about obstacles in our spiritual lives. At the risk of no one believing me, I am going to share the words that jumped from the radio to my soul: "Maybe you have not forgiven Bob." Yes, he actually said that! Then the pastor proceeded to give other examples of names that may not have been forgiven.

Those words brought to mind a conversation that took place in my home several years ago as Bob was preparing to travel to his daughter's wedding which was taking place in Texas. I felt prompted to ask Bob if he had forgiven his ex-wife who would be at the wedding. Even though they had been divorced for over thirty years, it occurred to me that the greatest gift Bob could give his daughter was to forgive her mother. Bob assured me that he had forgiven her many years ago.

Fast forward to the present. Now it is time for me to examine my own heart. Just maybe it is possible that I have not forgiven Bob for leaving at a critical time in my life. Even though he did not know that I would be diagnosed with breast cancer just a few weeks after he made the decision to leave, I must admit that I sometimes felt abandoned by him as I was driving alone twice each day for the radiation treatments. But, God was good as He always provided the perfect song on the radio, or a kind, encouraging word at just the right time.

So......I am choosing to forgive, as that is the best gift that I can give myself and my son. And, I hope that Bob will forgive me for anything that I did to contribute to the dissolving of our marriage.

Now excuse me while I go unravel some chains from around my soul.

Ephesians 4:32 - "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."