I am so grateful for the opportunity to write a monthly column for a local newspaper. Since some might not have a chance to see the Gaston Gazette, I will include the columns in this blog site. And, that will be a good way to keep them compiled in one place. I write the column, and the newspaper chooses the headline. So, here is the March 2013 column:
"Facing cancer, treatment one day at a time"
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010, I began a journey down a road that I had not previously traveled. While I was very aware that thousands of women and men had been down this road, it was still my personal journey. Many chose to travel with me, whether by their presence, prayers, written or spoken words of encouragement, food, a loving touch or a hug. I understood that others would not choose to join me on the journey, as the new diagnosis served as an uncomfortable reminder that they were also vulnerable to this disease.
During those days when I seemed to be in a mental and emotional fog, I got up in the mornings and took one step at a time. I could relate to a quote by Mark Twain: "Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it." So I pressed on while trusting that God had a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 became very real to me: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Just a couple of weeks after the surgery, I drove to Charlotte twice each day for the high dose radiation treatments. I will never believe it was coincidental that a new song was constantly playing on the radio in my car. I learned that the song was "Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson. The lyrics seemed to take a flying leap from the radio into the depths of my turbulent soul. As a musician, I was drawn to "Would you dare, would you dare to believe that you still have a reason to sing? 'Cause the pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming."
Another line of the same song reminded me that the pain I was feeling was just the hurt before the healing. I found that my greatest struggle was not due to physical pain. Rather, it was from emotional pain that stemmed from the shock of the cancer diagnosis, as well as a deep personal disappointment and loss that occurred within weeks of the diagnosis. But, even when our human bodies and other human beings disappoint us, God remains faithful. He keeps his promise that He will never leave us or forsake us. And, I could not ask for a better son, parents, sisters, extended family, and friends.
As I joyfully celebrate my three year cancer survivor anniversary, I am grateful for my journey and for the gift of life. Cancer did not define who I was, but was rather an event that has become forever woven into my life tapestry. I am certain that God has left me here for a purpose. And, with so much living, learning, laughing and loving to do, I don't want to waste a minute.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Life Threads
My mother is a skilled seamstress who made all of her daughters' clothes, as well as our dolls' clothes. I had the best dressed bride doll and Barbie dolls around! And, their fashions were made from scraps of material that were left from our handmade clothes.
When I was a young girl, Mama would take us on outings to Mary Jo's Cloth Store. In my mind, I can still smell the dye in the thousands of bolts of cloth, and I can feel the excitement and anticipation that washed over me at the thought of choosing a pattern, cloth, and buttons for a new dress. It was important to select the right pattern because there would surely be several dresses of varying colors designed from that same pattern. When the dresses were finished, they always looked just as I imagined they would. There was comfort and predictability in that.
Life is not always so predictable. Even when we choose what we view at the time as just the right pattern and plan, the end product does not always appear as we imagined it would. Divorce, health challenges, wayward children, job loss, disappointing superiors, and other unplanned events sometimes put us on a detour which significantly changes the way we thought our "life threads" would appear.
When I am struggling to get past a difficult "seam" in my life, it comforts me to know that God sees the final product, even when I cannot see past the current moment. And, He loves me even when I am under construction. Just as Mama would (and still does!) patiently repair a ripped out hem or a hole in my clothes, God is in the life repair business. And, He keeps His promise not to leave me to face the challenging life threads and circumstances alone.
I love the "sewing terminology" used in Psalm 139:5 - "You hem me in behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me." How awesome to know that God is protecting me, and that He is already preparing the way for what lies ahead!
Lord, I know that I am an unfinished product. Thank You for loving me during every phase of construction. Help me to pattern my life after the example of Your Son.
When I was a young girl, Mama would take us on outings to Mary Jo's Cloth Store. In my mind, I can still smell the dye in the thousands of bolts of cloth, and I can feel the excitement and anticipation that washed over me at the thought of choosing a pattern, cloth, and buttons for a new dress. It was important to select the right pattern because there would surely be several dresses of varying colors designed from that same pattern. When the dresses were finished, they always looked just as I imagined they would. There was comfort and predictability in that.
Life is not always so predictable. Even when we choose what we view at the time as just the right pattern and plan, the end product does not always appear as we imagined it would. Divorce, health challenges, wayward children, job loss, disappointing superiors, and other unplanned events sometimes put us on a detour which significantly changes the way we thought our "life threads" would appear.
When I am struggling to get past a difficult "seam" in my life, it comforts me to know that God sees the final product, even when I cannot see past the current moment. And, He loves me even when I am under construction. Just as Mama would (and still does!) patiently repair a ripped out hem or a hole in my clothes, God is in the life repair business. And, He keeps His promise not to leave me to face the challenging life threads and circumstances alone.
I love the "sewing terminology" used in Psalm 139:5 - "You hem me in behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me." How awesome to know that God is protecting me, and that He is already preparing the way for what lies ahead!
Lord, I know that I am an unfinished product. Thank You for loving me during every phase of construction. Help me to pattern my life after the example of Your Son.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Shooting Turkeys
I have a natural tendency to be a reflective person. But, during some emotional roller coaster years, I have learned how important it is to keep my sense of humor. In fact, it absolutely delights me to read, hear, or see something that just makes me fall out laughing. During this long Thanksgiving weekend, a friend posted on Facebook that she had shot her first turkey this Thanksgiving.....and that it shocked everyone in the frozen food section of the store! I just fell out laughing when I read that! (Thanks, Danielle!)
With this idea in mind, I will share my favorite Thanksgiving poem of all times. It is called, "The Turkey Shot Out of the Oven".
The turkey shot out of the oven,
and rocketed into the air.
It knocked every plate off the table,
and partly demolished a chair.
It ricocheted into a corner,
and burst with a deafening boom,
then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.
It stuck to the walls and the windows;
It totally coated the floor.
There was turkey attached to the ceiling
where there'd never been turkey before.
It blanketed every appliance;
It smeared every saucer and bowl.
There wasn't a way I could stop it.
That turkey was out of control!
I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
that I'd never again stuff a turkey...
with popcorn that hadn't been popped!
Happy Thanksgiving!
With this idea in mind, I will share my favorite Thanksgiving poem of all times. It is called, "The Turkey Shot Out of the Oven".
The turkey shot out of the oven,
and rocketed into the air.
It knocked every plate off the table,
and partly demolished a chair.
It ricocheted into a corner,
and burst with a deafening boom,
then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.
It stuck to the walls and the windows;
It totally coated the floor.
There was turkey attached to the ceiling
where there'd never been turkey before.
It blanketed every appliance;
It smeared every saucer and bowl.
There wasn't a way I could stop it.
That turkey was out of control!
I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
that I'd never again stuff a turkey...
with popcorn that hadn't been popped!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Friday, October 26, 2012
Blessing of the Hands
In May of 2011, a new tradition was started during a nursing pinning ceremony at the college where I have worked with nursing students for 11 years. As I observed from the piano where I was quietly playing music, a chaplain anointed the nursing graduates' hands with oil, and said a prayer of blessing over their hands as they launched into their nursing careers. It was one of the most meaningful ceremonies that I had ever attended.
As I drove home on that evening in 2011, I felt a seed of desire already growing in my heart to have my hands anointed. So, prior to the pinning ceremony in May of 2012, I asked the chaplain if he would anoint my hands after the ceremony. As I sat on the piano bench and held out my hands, I cried as I felt the soothing oil being rubbed into my hands, and I heard the chaplain pray a sweet blessing over my hands as I continued during the days ahead to play the piano, work with students, love and support my son, and make myself available to serve in whatever capacity that God had planned for me.
I have played the piano since I was seven years-old. In less than two weeks, that will be fifty years. Where has the time gone?
I treasure these words from Barbara Johnson: "How priceless that You anoint me for ministry using my own two hands... Jesus, I want to use my hands the way You used Yours to heal and lift and resurrect lost things in people's lives. I pray the compassion I feel in my heart will find its way to my fingers. Amen."
Psalm 90:17 - "May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us- yes, establish the work of our hands."
Lord, I sang as a child that You have the whole world in Your hands. And, I still believe that with every fiber of my being. Please use my hands to serve You as long as there is breath left in me.
As I drove home on that evening in 2011, I felt a seed of desire already growing in my heart to have my hands anointed. So, prior to the pinning ceremony in May of 2012, I asked the chaplain if he would anoint my hands after the ceremony. As I sat on the piano bench and held out my hands, I cried as I felt the soothing oil being rubbed into my hands, and I heard the chaplain pray a sweet blessing over my hands as I continued during the days ahead to play the piano, work with students, love and support my son, and make myself available to serve in whatever capacity that God had planned for me.
I have played the piano since I was seven years-old. In less than two weeks, that will be fifty years. Where has the time gone?
I treasure these words from Barbara Johnson: "How priceless that You anoint me for ministry using my own two hands... Jesus, I want to use my hands the way You used Yours to heal and lift and resurrect lost things in people's lives. I pray the compassion I feel in my heart will find its way to my fingers. Amen."
Psalm 90:17 - "May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us; establish the work of our hands for us- yes, establish the work of our hands."
Lord, I sang as a child that You have the whole world in Your hands. And, I still believe that with every fiber of my being. Please use my hands to serve You as long as there is breath left in me.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Lessons From the Green Rocking Chair
Barbara Johnson penned these words: "Yesterday is a sacred room in your heart where you keep your memories...From your yesterdays you draw lessons and encouragement to pass along to others."
Yesterday afternoon I spent some relaxing time in a bright green wooden rocking chair in McBee, SC. From the green rocker, I watched brightly colored butterflies lighting on orange and yellow lantana blooms. The butterflies appeared to be playing and having a jubilant time. Remembering those playful butterflies makes me wonder when most adults stop playing. And, why do we stop playing? Is playing considered to be trivial, undignified, and unworthy of our time when we reach adulthood?
My mind travels back in time to when I was a child. As the dusk settled in, we would chase "lightening bugs" and would place them in a jar that had air holes punched by our mama in the metal lid. Collecting those lightening bugs was our way of making our own live blinking flashlight. We would play "chase", hide and seek, and jump rope. And, there was always a bicycle to ride or a basketball to shoot in the goal that was attached to a tree in the backyard. You would never hear one of us saying that we were bored.
As I rocked rhythmically in the bright green wooden rocking chair, I was moving back and forth without going anywhere. As I ponder that, I wonder who came up with the "rule" that we must always be moving in order to reach a destination in a big hurry. While rocking, I had a most pleasant conversation with a silver-haired lady from Georgia. As we rocked in unison, the only thing I knew positively that we had in common was our preference for butter pecan ice cream. While the weight loss programs would surely frown on the fact that she was finishing off her friend's ice cream cone after consuming her own, I loved her philosophy of not letting good things in life go to waste, especially when it is homemade butter pecan ice cream!
On this day, I want to be a child. Not childish, but child-like. I took a first step toward that goal by trying chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream on top today instead of the boring adult variety that I usually have.
I love Steven James' thoughts about being child-like: "Set loose my awe and my squirrelly playfulness... Let me be young enough to run, not walk, toward the playground...Let me be young enough to make snow angels and climb trees in the twilight....to be astonished by dandelions and quick to chase fireflies."
Lord, make me more child-like, and restore a jubilant, playful spirit in me. Thank you for allowing me to slow down enough to see life lessons from the bright green wooden rocking chair.
Yesterday afternoon I spent some relaxing time in a bright green wooden rocking chair in McBee, SC. From the green rocker, I watched brightly colored butterflies lighting on orange and yellow lantana blooms. The butterflies appeared to be playing and having a jubilant time. Remembering those playful butterflies makes me wonder when most adults stop playing. And, why do we stop playing? Is playing considered to be trivial, undignified, and unworthy of our time when we reach adulthood?
My mind travels back in time to when I was a child. As the dusk settled in, we would chase "lightening bugs" and would place them in a jar that had air holes punched by our mama in the metal lid. Collecting those lightening bugs was our way of making our own live blinking flashlight. We would play "chase", hide and seek, and jump rope. And, there was always a bicycle to ride or a basketball to shoot in the goal that was attached to a tree in the backyard. You would never hear one of us saying that we were bored.
As I rocked rhythmically in the bright green wooden rocking chair, I was moving back and forth without going anywhere. As I ponder that, I wonder who came up with the "rule" that we must always be moving in order to reach a destination in a big hurry. While rocking, I had a most pleasant conversation with a silver-haired lady from Georgia. As we rocked in unison, the only thing I knew positively that we had in common was our preference for butter pecan ice cream. While the weight loss programs would surely frown on the fact that she was finishing off her friend's ice cream cone after consuming her own, I loved her philosophy of not letting good things in life go to waste, especially when it is homemade butter pecan ice cream!
On this day, I want to be a child. Not childish, but child-like. I took a first step toward that goal by trying chocolate chip pancakes with whipped cream on top today instead of the boring adult variety that I usually have.
I love Steven James' thoughts about being child-like: "Set loose my awe and my squirrelly playfulness... Let me be young enough to run, not walk, toward the playground...Let me be young enough to make snow angels and climb trees in the twilight....to be astonished by dandelions and quick to chase fireflies."
Lord, make me more child-like, and restore a jubilant, playful spirit in me. Thank you for allowing me to slow down enough to see life lessons from the bright green wooden rocking chair.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Letting Go
A couple of months ago, a thoughtful friend (thank you, Kimberly!:) shared a written message by T.D. Jakes. Since that day, I have spent some time pondering the topic of letting go. It is so easy to hang on to people, words, attitudes, bad memories, habits, hurts, and the past. My friend, Patti, very accurately calls this hanging on behavior mental hoarding. I want to share some excerpts from T.D. Jakes' message:
"If you are holding on to past hurts and pains....LET IT GO!
If someone has angered you....LET IT GO!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge....LET IT GO!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction....LET IT GO!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs...LET IT GO!
If you have a bad attitude....LET IT GO!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better....LET IT GO!
If you're stuck in the past, and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him....LET IT GO!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth....
LET IT GO!"
When I allow myself to stay bogged down in the mud and mire of the past, I am cheating myself out of what God has planned for me during the current chapter of my life. When I let go of the past, I am free to move forward in the direction that God has already mapped out for me.
He will reveal His plan to me in His perfect timing. I must confess that I sometimes have a different idea about the definition of "perfect timing". But, I know that God's timing is always the best.
In Philippians 3:13-14, Paul talks about forgetting what is behind, straining toward what is ahead, and pressing on. If we have a personal relationship with Christ, then we are free to let go of the things that have kept us in bondage.
I cannot control if a negative thought or memory comes to mind. But, I can choose not to dwell on a thought or memory that promises to drag me down into the pits of despair. That doesn't mean that I live in a world of denial. It just means that I am choosing to let go.
Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Lord, give me the courage to let go and to press on toward what You have for me in the days to come.
"If you are holding on to past hurts and pains....LET IT GO!
If someone has angered you....LET IT GO!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge....LET IT GO!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction....LET IT GO!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs...LET IT GO!
If you have a bad attitude....LET IT GO!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better....LET IT GO!
If you're stuck in the past, and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him....LET IT GO!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth....
LET IT GO!"
When I allow myself to stay bogged down in the mud and mire of the past, I am cheating myself out of what God has planned for me during the current chapter of my life. When I let go of the past, I am free to move forward in the direction that God has already mapped out for me.
He will reveal His plan to me in His perfect timing. I must confess that I sometimes have a different idea about the definition of "perfect timing". But, I know that God's timing is always the best.
In Philippians 3:13-14, Paul talks about forgetting what is behind, straining toward what is ahead, and pressing on. If we have a personal relationship with Christ, then we are free to let go of the things that have kept us in bondage.
I cannot control if a negative thought or memory comes to mind. But, I can choose not to dwell on a thought or memory that promises to drag me down into the pits of despair. That doesn't mean that I live in a world of denial. It just means that I am choosing to let go.
Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Lord, give me the courage to let go and to press on toward what You have for me in the days to come.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Human Being or Human Doing?
Joshua Sundquist, a young writer from Virginia, penned these words: ...Stress has forced me to step back and reconnect with the things that do give me peace: going on walks, reading books about spiritual matters, journaling, spending time with family and friends. In short, I've been trying to become more of a human being, instead of a human doing."
Those words hit me right between the eyes. And, I must ask myself this question: Have I become a human doing, and completely lost sight of how to be a human being? Further, if I am a human doing who is in constant motion, how can I expect God to speak to me when I am obviously too busy to listen?
On this very evening, a dear friend spoke some wise words as we discussed via text messaging how there is always more that needs to be done. Patti gave me permission to share her thoughts. She said that life is too short to limit ourselves to only things that need to be done. It is important to sometimes allow ourselves to do things that we want to do. In Patti's words, "I think I am finally learning, after all these years, the important things. It is not money or what you have; it is special times with friends, a smile, just enjoying simple pleasures like sitting on the deck listening to the birds.." Patti is a strong, intelligent, creative woman who has figured out what some of us strive for a lifetime to learn.
In the 23rd Psalm, David writes, "He leads me beside the still waters." Then, it should be no great surprise that the next verse says, "He restores my soul." Is it possible that we need a time by the quiet, still waters in order for our souls to be restored? It occurs to me that, when I am in perpetual motion and always thinking of what I need to accomplish next on my endless self-made list, there is no hope of my soul being restored.
The good news is that there is a Shepherd Who majors in restoring hope to the soul. As Max Lucado says, "The jungle is still a jungle. It hasn't changed, but you have. You have changed because you have hope."
Maybe, just maybe, I need to give myself permission to spend some time by the quiet, still waters or in another quiet place that nurtures my soul. And, I am seriously considering tossing that endless list that I have made, as I don't want to spend the rest of my life being a human doing instead of a human being.
Lord, restore my soul.
Those words hit me right between the eyes. And, I must ask myself this question: Have I become a human doing, and completely lost sight of how to be a human being? Further, if I am a human doing who is in constant motion, how can I expect God to speak to me when I am obviously too busy to listen?
On this very evening, a dear friend spoke some wise words as we discussed via text messaging how there is always more that needs to be done. Patti gave me permission to share her thoughts. She said that life is too short to limit ourselves to only things that need to be done. It is important to sometimes allow ourselves to do things that we want to do. In Patti's words, "I think I am finally learning, after all these years, the important things. It is not money or what you have; it is special times with friends, a smile, just enjoying simple pleasures like sitting on the deck listening to the birds.." Patti is a strong, intelligent, creative woman who has figured out what some of us strive for a lifetime to learn.
In the 23rd Psalm, David writes, "He leads me beside the still waters." Then, it should be no great surprise that the next verse says, "He restores my soul." Is it possible that we need a time by the quiet, still waters in order for our souls to be restored? It occurs to me that, when I am in perpetual motion and always thinking of what I need to accomplish next on my endless self-made list, there is no hope of my soul being restored.
The good news is that there is a Shepherd Who majors in restoring hope to the soul. As Max Lucado says, "The jungle is still a jungle. It hasn't changed, but you have. You have changed because you have hope."
Maybe, just maybe, I need to give myself permission to spend some time by the quiet, still waters or in another quiet place that nurtures my soul. And, I am seriously considering tossing that endless list that I have made, as I don't want to spend the rest of my life being a human doing instead of a human being.
Lord, restore my soul.
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