March 2013 Column

I am so grateful for the opportunity to write a monthly column for a local newspaper. Since some might not have a chance to see the Gaston Gazette, I will include the columns in this blog site. And, that will be a good way to keep them compiled in one place. I write the column, and the newspaper chooses the headline. So, here is the March 2013 column:

"Facing cancer, treatment one day at a time"

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010, I began a journey down a road that I had not previously traveled. While I was very aware that thousands of women and men had been down this road, it was still my personal journey. Many chose to travel with me, whether by their presence, prayers, written or spoken words of encouragement, food, a loving touch or a hug. I understood that others would not choose to join me on the journey, as the new diagnosis served as an uncomfortable reminder that they were also vulnerable to this disease.

During those days when I seemed to be in a mental and emotional fog, I got up in the mornings and took one step at a time. I could relate to a quote by Mark Twain: "Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it." So I pressed on while trusting that God had a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 became very real to me: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Just a couple of weeks after the surgery, I drove to Charlotte twice each day for the high dose radiation treatments. I will never believe it was coincidental that a new song was constantly playing on the radio in my car. I learned that the song was "Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson. The lyrics seemed to take a flying leap from the radio into the depths of my turbulent soul. As a musician, I was drawn to "Would you dare, would you dare to believe that you still have a reason to sing? 'Cause the pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming."

Another line of the same song reminded me that the pain I was feeling was just the hurt before the healing. I found that my greatest struggle was not due to physical pain. Rather, it was from emotional pain that stemmed from the shock of the cancer diagnosis, as well as a deep personal disappointment and loss that occurred within weeks of the diagnosis. But, even when our human bodies and other human beings disappoint us, God remains faithful. He keeps his promise that He will never leave us or forsake us. And, I could not ask for a better son, parents, sisters, extended family, and friends.

As I joyfully celebrate my three year cancer survivor anniversary, I am grateful for my journey and for the gift of life. Cancer did not define who I was, but was rather an event that has become forever woven into my life tapestry. I am certain that God has left me here for a purpose. And, with so much living, learning, laughing and loving to do, I don't want to waste a minute.