June Column

Headline: "Dad always had a great roadmap for life"

Two of Daddy's favorite sayings are, "I've been around the block a few times" and "If you knock on enough doors, you will find a job." Some fathers arrange marriages - my daddy arranged summer jobs. So, as a teen, I did not need to knock on doors because a job was already waiting for me when school was out for summer "break".

The typical summer job involved standing on a hard floor in a place with no air conditioning. Most likely an early-morning shift. But, even though I would go home with cotton in my hair and eyelashes, or feeling faint from the heat after steaming names on uniforms all day, I learned some valuable lessons about work ethics. And, in the process, I had the privilege of meeting some of the most honest, hard-working people in the world.

When I started driving, I did not have the luxury of a computer, cell phone, GPS, or Mapquest. However, I was blessed to have "Dadquest" directions. Daddy was a truck driver for 32 years, could interpret any map, and had my full confidence that he could get himself - or anyone else - wherever they might choose to travel in the United States.

Over the years, an important part of each journey preparation was to ask Daddy to look at the map with me. After studying the map, he would determine the best route and would write it out for me. I always trusted that Daddy was guiding me in the right direction. And, I can honestly say that he never steered me on the wrong path, even when he wrote out the 1100 mile route to Texas when I entered the Air Force in 1978.

In a similar way, our Heavenly Father wants us to go to Him as we prepare for our life journeys. We are wise if we ask Him to look at the map and write out the best route for us. But, we are even wiser if we choose to follow His written directions. The truth is that our Heavenly Father has already given us written directions in His Word. It is our task to trust Him enough to stay on the course that He has provided for us to follow.

If I had chosen to ignore my "Dadquest" directions in 1978, I could have arrived in California instead of Texas. The Air Force would have definitely frowned on that! Choosing to ignore God's directions can lead to our arrival at a place where we truly do not want to be. Just ask the Prodigal Son. Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us to "trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths."

Max Lucado wrote that we never outgrow our need for a father's love. Daddy turns 88 this month, and spends a lot of time in bed because of pain. But, I happen to know that he lies awake every day and prays for his wife of 60 years, his children, and his grandchildren by name. I hope that Daddy never thinks that we no longer need him. The truth is that we need him more than ever. Through many life detours and bumps in the road, we desperately need Daddy's love and wisdom to help guide our paths. Who can argue with someone who has 26 safe driving awards? And, after all, Daddy has been around the block a few times.

May 2013 Column

This column was published in the Gaston Gazette on Mother's Day, 2013.

Headline: "The key ingredient was love"

My mother is known to her daughters as Mama, and to her grandchildren as Maw Maw. So I will refer to her as both of those names throughout this column.

There is a "Maw Maw Mystery" that I have been pondering for years. Here it is:   
Why does everything taste better at Maw Maw's house? I can make the same dish from the identical recipe. And, without exception, the dish will always taste better when Maw Maw makes it in her kitchen.

One of Maw Maw's secrets is to use whatever she has in stock. If I ask her how she made a dish, it is very likely that she will laugh and say, "I didn't make it exactly by the recipe. I just used what I had!" When she recently told me that she wasn't sure if she had the ingredients for a dish, I asked her what she had done with my Mama who would surely just use what she had.

In a recent interview, my son was asked, "What is the best advice you were ever given?" He immediately replied, "Use what you have." And, that sage advice from Maw Maw has become an ingrained philosophy in his culinary creations, as well as in other facets of life.

Everything that Mama makes is seasoned with love. When I turned 13, she made a birthday cake for me, as she did for each of her daughters every year.
But, to her dismay, this labor of love fell to pieces. The note that Mama wrote and placed by the shattered cake is a treasured memory for me. It simply said, "This cake is so full of love that it fell apart."  In my young teenage mind, there could not have been a more beautiful cake in the world.

Several years ago, Mama's Christmas gift to each of her four daughters was a recipe notebook titled, "Some of My Favorites".  Each of the 30 pages contained one of her favorite recipes penned in her own handwriting. At the bottom of each page, Mama wrote a favorite scripture verse. Those recipe notebooks are priceless heirlooms. And, since that Christmas, Mama has added recipes to our notebooks and has started compiling recipe notebooks for her grandchildren too.

Mama's advice to use what we have reminds me of Jesus. He had the power and authority to speak things into existence. In fact, the wind, waves, demons, disease, and even death responded to His voice. But sometimes He chose to use what He had to accomplish His purpose. Turning water into wine comes to mind. And He multiplied the loaves and fish that the little boy already had in order to feed thousands of hungry people.

Just as love is the seasoning in everything that Mama does for us, love was behind all that Jesus did, including paying a debt for us that He did not owe. The Scripture verse that is written on Mama's sweet potato pudding recipe page reminds me that God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son so that anyone who believes in Him will not perish, but will have everlasting life.

Yes, God used what He had...Jesus...to provide a way for us. And, the key ingredient was love.

April 2013 Column

"Thanks for letting Dan come out to play"

When I was 17 years-old, I was given a special little book titled Friendship is a Gentle Thing. I will interject some quotes from this book while sharing about a gentle friend in my life.

"Friends can come in many shapes and sizes."

I met Dan when I was about 11. He lived next door with his beautiful wife and four rambunctious little boys. I would sometimes catch a glimpse of Dan arriving at home after he had worked all day. And, on many evenings, I would show up on their doorstep to ask if Dan could come out to play. He often shared the gift of his time by coming over to play basketball with me at the goal attached to a tree in my backyard. Even then, I admired this timeless man's quiet strength, gentle spirit, and the ever present sparkle in his eyes. Dan always accepted me for exactly who I was, even during those awkward, preteen years. While he was not tall in stature, Dan was a giant in my eyes.

"Even when you live in different places, if you're friends, you're always neighbors."

Eventually, these dear friends moved to another area of town, and I lost my afternoon basketball buddy. But, it was always the same when we got back together, even after I was away for years serving in the military.

"Doing things together is the stuff friendships are made from. Sharing the memories is the glue."

After retiring from the Air Force in 1995, I returned to my home area and became the pianist at the church where Nancy - the one who graciously forgave me for taking her husband's attention when she had been with four busy little boys all day - and Dan were active members. For more than 15 years, we had many more opportunities to spend time together and to enjoy conversations at the piano bench and over meals.

In March of 2010, Dan was diagnosed with cancer just 18 days before I was diagnosed with breast cancer. While my journey was far less extensive than Dan's own, I found myself relating to him yet again, and drawing strength from his courageous example. From the very beginning of that new journey, Dan insisted that God had a plan. He consistently demonstrated an unwavering strength and courage beyond all human capability. As Dan faced surgery, radiation, and chemotherapy, he continued to trust God, and to stand on a firm foundation.

We lost Dan in April of 2011. On the day before the funeral, I had a flower delivered to Nancy. The vase was a basketball. And, the note simply said, "Thanks for letting Dan come out to play."

In my mind, I like to imagine that I will one day live next door to Dan in Heaven. We will be young and healthy again. And, if there just happens to be a basketball goal attached to a tree in the backyard of my Heavenly home, I know that I will show up on Dan's doorstep, asking him to come out to play. Somehow, I know that he will honor that request, as he will not want to disappoint an old friend.

"A warm and quiet feeling rich in unspoken admiration, friendship is a gentle things - and life is good when you can say, 'I have a friend.'"

This column is in memory of Dan Alexander - basketball buddy, Christian neighbor, courageous hero and gentle friend.

March 2013 Column

I am so grateful for the opportunity to write a monthly column for a local newspaper. Since some might not have a chance to see the Gaston Gazette, I will include the columns in this blog site. And, that will be a good way to keep them compiled in one place. I write the column, and the newspaper chooses the headline. So, here is the March 2013 column:

"Facing cancer, treatment one day at a time"

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010, I began a journey down a road that I had not previously traveled. While I was very aware that thousands of women and men had been down this road, it was still my personal journey. Many chose to travel with me, whether by their presence, prayers, written or spoken words of encouragement, food, a loving touch or a hug. I understood that others would not choose to join me on the journey, as the new diagnosis served as an uncomfortable reminder that they were also vulnerable to this disease.

During those days when I seemed to be in a mental and emotional fog, I got up in the mornings and took one step at a time. I could relate to a quote by Mark Twain: "Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it." So I pressed on while trusting that God had a plan. Jeremiah 29:11 became very real to me: "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Just a couple of weeks after the surgery, I drove to Charlotte twice each day for the high dose radiation treatments. I will never believe it was coincidental that a new song was constantly playing on the radio in my car. I learned that the song was "Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson. The lyrics seemed to take a flying leap from the radio into the depths of my turbulent soul. As a musician, I was drawn to "Would you dare, would you dare to believe that you still have a reason to sing? 'Cause the pain that you've been feeling can't compare to the joy that's coming."

Another line of the same song reminded me that the pain I was feeling was just the hurt before the healing. I found that my greatest struggle was not due to physical pain. Rather, it was from emotional pain that stemmed from the shock of the cancer diagnosis, as well as a deep personal disappointment and loss that occurred within weeks of the diagnosis. But, even when our human bodies and other human beings disappoint us, God remains faithful. He keeps his promise that He will never leave us or forsake us. And, I could not ask for a better son, parents, sisters, extended family, and friends.

As I joyfully celebrate my three year cancer survivor anniversary, I am grateful for my journey and for the gift of life. Cancer did not define who I was, but was rather an event that has become forever woven into my life tapestry. I am certain that God has left me here for a purpose. And, with so much living, learning, laughing and loving to do, I don't want to waste a minute.

Life Threads

My mother is a skilled seamstress who made all of her daughters' clothes, as well as our dolls' clothes. I had the best dressed bride doll and Barbie dolls around! And, their fashions were made from scraps of material that were left from our handmade clothes. 

When I was a young girl, Mama would take us on outings to Mary Jo's Cloth Store. In my mind, I can still smell the dye in the thousands of bolts of cloth, and I can feel the excitement and anticipation that washed over me at the thought of choosing a pattern, cloth, and buttons for a new dress. It was important to select the right pattern because there would surely be several dresses of varying colors designed from that same pattern. When the dresses were finished, they always looked just as I imagined they would. There was comfort and predictability in that.

Life is not always so predictable. Even when we choose what we view at the time as just the right pattern and plan, the end product does not always appear as we imagined it would. Divorce, health challenges, wayward children, job loss, disappointing superiors, and other unplanned events sometimes put us on a detour which significantly changes the way we thought our "life threads" would appear.

When I am struggling to get past a difficult "seam" in my life, it comforts me to know that God sees the final product, even when I cannot see past the current moment. And, He loves me even when I am under construction. Just as Mama would (and still does!) patiently repair a ripped out hem or a hole in my clothes, God is in the life repair business. And, He keeps His promise not to leave me to face the challenging life threads and circumstances alone.

I love the "sewing terminology" used in Psalm 139:5 - "You hem me in behind and before; You have laid Your hand upon me." How awesome to know that God is protecting me, and that He is already preparing the way for what lies ahead!

Lord, I know that I am an unfinished product. Thank You for loving me during every phase of construction. Help me to pattern my life after the example of Your Son. 

Shooting Turkeys

I have a natural tendency to be a reflective person. But, during some emotional roller coaster years, I have learned how important it is to keep my sense of humor. In fact, it absolutely delights me to read, hear, or see something that just makes me fall out laughing. During this long Thanksgiving weekend, a friend posted on Facebook that she had shot her first turkey this Thanksgiving.....and that it shocked everyone in the frozen food section of the store!  I just fell out laughing when I read that! (Thanks, Danielle!)

With this idea in mind, I will share my favorite Thanksgiving poem of all times. It is called, "The Turkey Shot Out of the Oven".

The turkey shot out of the oven,
and rocketed into the air.
It knocked every plate off the table,
and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner,
and burst with a deafening boom,
then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows;
It totally coated the floor.
There was turkey attached to the ceiling
where there'd never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance;
It smeared every saucer and bowl.
There wasn't a way I could stop it.
That turkey was out of control!

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
that I'd never again stuff a turkey...
with popcorn that hadn't been popped!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Blessing of the Hands

In May of 2011, a new tradition was started during a nursing pinning ceremony at the college where I have worked with nursing students for 11 years. As I observed from the piano where I was quietly playing music, a chaplain anointed the nursing graduates' hands with oil, and said a prayer of blessing over their hands as they launched into their nursing careers. It was one of the most meaningful ceremonies that I had ever attended. 

As I drove home on that evening in 2011, I felt a seed of desire already growing in my heart to have my hands anointed. So, prior to the pinning ceremony in May of 2012, I asked the chaplain if he would anoint my hands after the ceremony. As I sat on the piano bench and held out my hands, I cried as I felt the soothing oil being rubbed into my hands, and I heard the chaplain pray a sweet blessing over my hands as I continued during the days ahead to play the piano, work with students, love and support my son, and make myself available to serve in whatever capacity that God had planned for me. 

I have played the piano since I was seven years-old. In less than two weeks, that will be fifty years. Where has the time gone?

I treasure these words from Barbara Johnson: "How priceless that You anoint me for ministry using my own two hands... Jesus, I want to use my hands the way You used Yours to heal and lift and resurrect lost things in people's lives. I pray the compassion I feel in my heart will find its way to my fingers. Amen."

Psalm 90:17 - "May the favor of the Lord our God rest upon us;  establish the work of our hands for us- yes, establish the work of our hands."

Lord, I sang as a child that You have the whole world in Your hands. And, I still believe that with every fiber of my being. Please use my hands to serve You as long as there is breath left in me.